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"No-one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle..."

Urban Cannibal's jolly japes and wizard wheezes

Mr Simon
"The sound you're hearing is the symphony of what we are..."

This is the new journal for the Urban Cannibal...I had an old one, but you don't want to see that. Superstar DJ, music lover, partygoer, doting dad, skint student, silly person, born-again Yorkshireman, grumpy old git, and partner of the beautiful sara_pebbles, who really does rock my world. Oh, and possibly the least photogenic person in the world. I'm blessed with a good nature, and cursed with a bad temper. I'm pretty tolerant, unless you're pretty intolerable.

I can usually be found sprawled out somewhere doing bugger all, when I'm not DJing at Nightmare (www.nightmaremusic.com) or elsewhere around the country. I play everything from industrial noise to Kylie, often back-to-back. Because I can, and because you love it, you slaaags.

There's a long list of things I like - the important ones you'll find below. There's an equally long list of things I dislike - but don't get me started on that, we'll be here all day!

And remember kids, in the wise words of Scooter, it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice!
5f_55, add n to (x), alan moore, alec empire, aliens, aphex twin, apoptygma berzerk, ascii disko, avoiding hard work, beautiful bottoms, beautiful women, being silly, big boots, black sabbath, body modification, brian griffin, cavalry charges, chav-baiting, chemical brothers, christian-baiting, clubbing, combichrist, corsets, covenant, cuddles, cunning plans, curvy bottoms, cyberpunk, dancing, dave grohl, david bowie, daydreaming, djing, dread zeppelin, ducking and diving, ebm, electroclash, electronica, enough is never enough, faith no more, faithless, fake hair, family guy, felix da housecat, fetish clothing, flirting, flying boats, foo fighters, freedom, freezepop, french taunters, friends, future pop, girls, girls with tattoos, glowing things, goggles, goldfrapp, good food, good manners, goths, green velvet, hair extensions, hare-brained schemes, hawkwind, heresy, horror films, hypnoskull, icon of coil, inappropriate behaviour, industrial, industrial metal, infest, intelligent conversation, killing joke, kmfdm, knifehandchop, knights of bretonnia, knights who say "ni", kraftwerk, laughter, laurel and hardy, life of brian, lightswitch raves, live music, meeting new people, military history, minder, miss kittin, mocking the stupid, monty python, music, naughtiness, new musik, nightmare, nine inch nails, orbital, outdoor sex, partying, pauley perrette, piercings, pitchshifter, pop will eat itself, porn, pounding beats, powernoise, praga khan, predator, prodigy, public image ltd, pvc, rammstein, rave, recreational pharmaceuticals, richard cheese, rolf harris, s.p.o.c.k, snogging, socialising, socialism, soft cell, space rock, spanking, spiders, starry skies, stromkern, stuart price, sunshine, synthpop, tattoos, the american civil war, the damage manual, the mad capsule markets, the orb, the smirking chimp, the trap door, throwing shapes, tiga, ultraviolence, underworld, utah saints, vicki butler-henderson, vnv nation, war films, wargames, warhammer, white wine, world in flames, wumpscut, zombie flicks